There are many things I don't understand. Many of the movies that get produced are shit, I know that. And complaining is no good because, unfortunately, many of those movies are a box office success. Then the Hollywood machinery adapts to this, and start producing pieces of shit because... they work money wise and it makes for a good business. It's the same story as with the mexican TV industry: telenovelas (soap operas) and reality shows. Enough about that. I don't want to start a diarrhea-like post on that subject matter. I don't have the energy to fill out pages and pages about it. Let us continue then:
Twilight. Without exaggeration, I think it is one of the worst movies I've ever seen through the 25 years I've walked the earth (and I've seen my share of excrementous films). I really think that pieces-of-shit-movies like: 13 Ghosts, Pearl Harbor, Jackass 1 & 2, Spider Man 3, among other pseudo-films, have metamorphed into real gems when compared with the twilightian shit. I pushed myself to watching it all the way to the end for two reasons: one, there are times when you just can take shit over shit, and there is this thing that is born within you, this thing that asks for more and more. The second reason is that I was reading a fragment of the screenplay and I found very interesting the way it was written: in a TV series format. But it sucks. And I knew that since the very first scene. I will vomit now, and I'll try to be brief:
The story sucks. There is this very interesting and kick ass concept in the film, but it is very subtle and was not used well: the explanation of the existance of fantastical creatures through legends of native americans. But this was used just as an ornament and personally, it was the best part of the movie. The story itself is a veeery gayish, weak, artificial, and with no depth, tale of love between a human girl and a vamp¡&3. It is a teen movie with vamp¡&35. And like most of the teen movies, it's a crap, and does not add anything art wise. And it's fucking lame.
The cinematography is very flat, and does not take advantage of the photogenic rural landscape of the US northwest. Mediocrily, at best, it creates the atmosphere for the different locations, but simply in a very by-the-book and conformist plane.
The Special Effects. I just can't believe this piece of shit was produced in the year 2008. The effects I see on the X-Files show seem very vanguardist compared to the ones used in twilight.
The directing of the film is simply and plainly bad. It is not mediocre, don't try to help it, it is bad. I don't wanna know, so I don't get a heart attack, how much did this movie cost. But I suppose it had a big budget. And the film feels as its screenplay: as TV series (a bad one, because there are many good ones). Exaggeration in the use of close shots, annoying and monotonous performances, boring and basic scene blocking, are the ingredients that this director whose name I rather not mention, combines in the film.
The performances of all actors of the film are flat and weak. But the two leading actors are the worst. The fucking bitch, the one that is a human and wants to fuck the vamp¡&3 , sucks big time. Her performance is worthy of the shitty US film The Unborn (2009). Her acting is very monotonous (I dare you all to find a different emotion than the one she conveys at the beginning of the film), is boring as hell, and does not create the least amount of empathy. For all I care, I wish the werewolves raped her, I wish her father dumped her to the streets, and that the shitty blonde vamp¡&3 got her, sucked her blood, and threw her in Point Pleasant so the Mothman can have her as his meal. (And please, I wish she never gets to Vancouver...).
The shitty pseudo vamp¡&3 that now wets every pubescent and teen vaginas everytime he appears on TV or the web is, without any doubt, the worst vamp¡&3 in history. I have seen abominations such as John Carpenter's Vampires, or From Dusk Till Dawn 2 & 3, but I've never seen a version of this interesting creature, as excrementous, corny, artificial, and stupid, as the sex symbol's performance. In every shot he appears, the fucker acts as if he were in a fucking clothing tv ad, or something worse. His acting, never the less, is very ad hoc to what his bitch human lover performs.
Where the fuck did the real vampires go? It was very sad for me to see how the people behind this film completely destroyed the vampire concept. Fucking metrosexual, boring, corny, artificial, and flat vamp¡&35... Why the fuck do these people attack a traditional concept that is worthy of respect?
What else can I say? twilight is a piece of shit that I am very happy I didn't watch at the theatre. And I'm very glad, I say it openly, that I downloaded it. Yes, I have to watch out for my economy, and acting against my principles, and giving a great demonstration of how I am not a man of my word, I have started to download movies, but I swear to buy every single one I have downloaded. And twilight was the one that introduced me to the new, and not so presumable world of illegal film downloads. Do not watch this film, and if you do, I hope you agree with me. If you disagree, then great... that's why movies are made, so everyone can see something different in them. But if you disagree, even if I respect your opinion, do not dare to give me any recommendation about what film to see.
And I'm a man of my word.
Kauai Travel Tips
Hace 11 años
